Look Beyond the Surface – Our Resolutions and Failures in the New Year
2021, you have finally arrived! I have been eagerly waiting for you. It’s hard to deny that we tend to attribute almost magical power to the New Year (or even the winter solstice). I believe we shouldn’t be critical of this belief! Let’s celebrate the renewal of nature, the return of the light, and use this cycle and repetition as an opportunity to gain momentum once again!
This kind of cycle is not foreign to our everyday lives either. Just as our chest rises and falls with each breath, just as our blood sugar levels rise and fall, just as wakefulness turns into fatigue and rest. So why shouldn't we gain momentum, operate, and then relax a bit during the year too? How did the topic of New Year's resolutions become so ambivalent or divisive? One answer is that we talk a lot about WHAT to do, but much less about HOW to do it. And I'm not thinking about the "how" of weight-loss tips. I mean the how of New Year’s plans, goals, and lifestyle or behavior changes.
There are countless ideas and products available for "How to lose ten kilos?" or "How to quit smoking?" Unfortunately, these recommendations are often only useful halfway through the process. Psychology has developed a great illustrative model for understanding the behavior change process, helping those who need or desire to modify a particular habit or way of operating. It's also very informative in showing that it's not merely a matter of willpower or motivation! In fact, behavior change is a complex self-awareness issue, and piecing it together requires time and energy. For example, when someone begins to explore the causes of their weight gain beyond calorie intake, through understanding their physical and mental functioning, they have already taken a major step for themselves—even if they haven't yet lost a single kilo. But let’s take a closer look at how this model works.
- Precontemplation stage: The person is not yet considering or interested in the negative consequences of their behavior, downplays the issue, or does not believe change is possible.
- Contemplation stage: Weighing begins, but ambivalent feelings and opposing benefits and barriers still prevent real action.
- Preparation stage: The person has gathered the strength to take steps but is still uncertain about the methods and commitment. There’s growing openness to gathering information and involving experts.
- Action stage: The period of concrete changes when the environment also starts providing feedback on the visible results.
- Maintenance stage: Changes measurable over months during which fatigue, loss of enthusiasm, or yearning may occur.
- Termination stage: There is no temptation, or the resistance to temptation is stable, and harmful habits no longer resurface.
This short overview shows that the process is neither simple nor fast, and certainly not linear. There may be relapses, stalls, or fluctuations, whatever we want to call them. It's also important to see that unfortunately, time alone is no guarantee of success. It's fascinating to examine the effectiveness of lifestyle change programs over a five-year span—results look quite different compared to outcomes after just six months. I wanted to outline these aspects to show that it's worth reframing our "failures." We should consider whether we correctly assessed our resources. Did we recognize the benefits and drawbacks? Odd as it sounds, it's important to understand that even bad habits have "benefits" (e.g., emotional regulation through substances or food). That perhaps we didn't ruin the process, but merely paused or stepped back a level. We need to see that there are skills or abilities we must develop before we can move forward—whether it's assertive communication or coping with negative emotions. It’s exciting to observe where we stand in the process, how our environment influences us, and how we can control it. Are our goals realistic, and have we gathered the right information? Do we have an expert or a group of experts who can support us? And do we recognize when we need external help?
Through all this, I wanted to show that behavior change—such as lifestyle transformation—is not a simple on-off switch. It's a journey of self-discovery that can be started in many ways, and even if the results are not immediately tangible, there is always something to learn. That’s why it’s worth approaching this process consciously and reflectively! So even if your only plan this year is to look at yourself a little more consciously, you’ve already done a lot for your health!
Eszter Csaba
psychologist